After a stellar and astonishing week, when no less than FOUR agents were requesting my sample chapters/pages, and my children and husband would attest that my happiness was through the roof, I have had a letdown, reject week of almost equal proportions. Two of the bigger historical fiction agents rejected my book, leaving me once again questioning my skill (or lack of it) in writing.
I do realize that Kathryn Stockett’s “The Help,” as well as J.K. Rowling, John Grisham, etc. have met with numerous rejections before publication. They did not give up. But then I am reminded of Stephenie Meyer, who maybe had 14 rejections. I’ve probably reached that number (between my two novels), so in my mind, if I can’t beat Stephenie Meyer, I’m useless. Okay, maybe not QUITE that bad, but I am competitive, you know. Mostly with myself.
And so, I begin to think that maybe this blog was a bad idea, especially if I have to take it down, hanging my head in shame. “I can’t write, why did I ever think I could?” keeps running through my mind. I know you all believe in me, and many of you have offered encouragement on Facebook and elsewhere. However, I have to determine in myself if it is worthwhile to continue pouring months into these writing endeavors, only to have no one read my book. E-books are tempting, but I do want a hard copy of the book in the end.
I love to write, and even now I walk around with new ideas for books about every day. Once you’re locked in the writing mode, it’s hard to get your brain out. However, this does not bode well for a home-schooler who needs to teach her children all the stuff they need to know before college!
So, I have concluded that for now I am taking a break. Maybe I’m not quitting. Maybe I’m just recuperating. I still have queries out, and I may still get bites. I’m still trying to keep some faith. I hope my next post will be one of jubilation, where I have found the agent who really “gets” my books. I just gotta know that what I’m fighting for is worth it! If it is, I’ll come back swinging, and if it’s not, I’m willing to concede defeat. Well, at least I think so.